Sober Sex: Why More People Are Ditching Alcohol for Deeper Connections

For many, alcohol and intimacy have long gone hand in hand, but a growing number of people are choosing to remove substances from their sex lives. Whether it's to enhance emotional connection, improve confidence, or simply feel more in control, the sober sex movement is gaining traction in both the US and the UK.

To understand how ditching alcohol and drugs impacts intimacy, confidence, and satisfaction, we surveyed 500 Americans and 500 Brits. Here's what we found.

Key takeaways

• For 43% of Brits and 33% of Americans, sober sex has improved their sex lives by deepening their emotional connection.
• About a third of Americans (33%) and Brits (30%) use alcohol or drugs to boost sexual confidence.
• More than 1 in 10 people (12%) only have sex with their partner when drunk, with Americans twice as likely as Brits to feel they need alcohol for attraction (16% vs. 8%).
• Americans are 55% more likely than Brits to feel pressured to drink before sex because they think it's expected (17% vs. 11%).
• Nearly half of the people in the UK (48%) and the US (45%) have experienced a "sobergasm" — a more intense orgasm when sober.

Who is having sober sex — and why?

The sober curious movement is gaining traction, but its impact on sexuality varies between the US and the UK. While Americans were more likely to identify with the sober sex movement, generational and gender differences influenced how often people chose intimacy without substances.

Alt text: Infographic displaying survey results on sober sex habits in the UK and US, divided by gender and generation.

While a similar percentage of Americans and Brits engage in sober sex, fewer identify with the movement behind it. Americans were 44% more likely than Brits to consider themselves part of the sober sex movement (23% vs. 16%). In the US, sober intimacy was most common among baby boomers and Gen X (41%), while only 26% of millennials practiced it. The UK showed more consistency, with about 1 in 3 people across all generations choosing sober sex.

About 1 in 3 American men (34%) and women (32%) exclusively had sober sex, compared to 31% of women and 29% of men in the UK. Despite these differences, 1 in 8 people (12%) in both countries said their attraction to their partner increased after committing to sober sex. But intimacy without substances isn't always easy.

A third of Americans and 30% of Brits said they rely on alcohol or drugs to boost sexual confidence, suggesting a reliance on substances in romantic and sexual encounters. This was especially true for certain Americans in relationships — 16% admitted they needed to be under the influence to find their partner attractive, double the rate of Brits (8%).

How does sober sex change intimacy and dating?

Sober sex can feel different — sometimes more intimate, sometimes more nerve-wracking. For many, it reshaped their experiences with connection, confidence, and even dating habits.

Alt text: Infographic presenting survey data on reasons why individuals in the UK and US choose to avoid alcohol or drugs before sex.

For many, sober sex deepened intimacy. About 1 in 3 people in the UK (37%) and the US (33%) found it more intimate than drunk sex. Around a quarter of Brits (27%) and Americans (25%) said sober sex was more satisfying, and nearly as many described it as more passionate (24% and 23%).

Many also felt more connected. More than 2 in 5 Brits (43%) and 1 in 3 Americans (33%) said sober sex strengthened their emotional bonds. A similar pattern emerged around feelings of control, with 41% of Brits and 32% of Americans feeling more in charge of their sexual experiences when sober.

Sober intimacy also influenced dating habits. Single Americans were 27% more likely than Brits to say they had fewer casual hookups after embracing sober sex (28% vs. 22%). And in some cases, sobriety led to abstinence — 35% of Americans and 27% of Brits have avoided sex altogether when alcohol or drugs were involved.

Sober sex also came with unexpected benefits:

• Over 1 in 5 people in both countries (23% in the US, 22% in the UK) said it helped them communicate their sexual needs more openly.

• About half of Brits (48%) and Americans (45%) said it led to a "sobergasm" — a more intense orgasm when sober.

• Sober sex improved erectile dysfunction for 32% of American and 26% of British men who had previously experienced it. About 1 in 4 saw a reduction in premature ejaculation.

Despite these benefits, self-consciousness remained a challenge for some people. In both countries, 16% worried they'd overthink their body, performance, or any awkward moments if they were sober during sex.

Some also felt external pressure. Americans were 55% more likely than Brits to say they drank before sex because it was expected (17% vs. 11%). And for many, dating culture made sober sex difficult: 60% of single Brits and 50% of single Americans felt it was hard to avoid alcohol or drugs in intimate settings, and Americans were twice as likely as Brits to feel judged for wanting to hook up sober.

Sober sex is changing intimacy — but not without challenges

Sober sex is changing the way people experience intimacy. Many say it strengthens emotional connections and improves pleasure, but social pressure and self-consciousness can make it tricky. While Americans are more likely to feel pressured to drink before sex, Brits are more likely to say sober intimacy makes them feel more in control. As more people choose sober intimacy, it's challenging the idea that alcohol is key to confidence and connection.

Methodology

We surveyed 500 Americans and 500 Brits to examine the growing trend of sober intimacy and its impact on confidence, connection, and satisfaction. Among Americans, the average age was 41, with an equal gender split (50% male, 50% female). Generationally, 34% were baby boomers and Gen X (combined), 48% were millennials, and 17% were Gen Z. Among Brits, the average age was 37, also with an equal gender split. Generationally, 25% were baby boomers and Gen X, 43% were millennials, and 32% were Gen Z.

About ZipHealth

With ZipHealth, you can access discreet online health consultations and treatments for various conditions, including medications like Viagra and Sildenafil. We strive to provide accessible and convenient health care, ensuring you can manage your health comfortably and privately.

Fair use statement

Sharing this content for noncommercial purposes is allowed with a link back to the source.